


Max Payne V

by Will_Keaton



Category: Max Payne - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Fic, Deliberate Badfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Will_Keaton/pseuds/Will_Keaton
Summary: Max Payne reminisces on his career.





	Max Payne V

Blood made a siiming pool as it bleeded out of the corpse like a facet. The man was dead due to lead poisoning. The kind that come from gun. I was standing over him admiring my work like a painter guy. This bit of human garbagge wasn't going to have been bothering anyone again.

Sixtten hours before tall that other things were happened. Rain slicked up off the outerside of that window like tears being cried by the New York. I was sat inside my office have drinking. I was an X-cop who had been kicked from the police cops because I was teh hardcore. Now I sitted back lsitening to rain washing downing shoots of whisky harder than bricks.

Suddenly the phone was ringing with tiny church bells. I piked up the phone using hands and fingers. I placed the phone in his ear and made listen. “Max Payne. This is the Mafia.” The phone told me. “Your wife is to us belonging. Unless you don't never want to unsee her again you will stop being a cop.

I shutted down the phone. My rage overflowed from his coffee cup. I had too do a something. And it would involved bullets. I smooshed out my office door ready to bring hard justice to city. It reminded me of how my badge was gone.

The city became made of rot. But it was New York so that's how always is. A new kind of pharmacy was running down streets like bleeding a tomato. They called it V. I'd heard of many horrid sails of kids junking the stuff and winding up the dead of it because.

My job was to make stop the V. Me were made of police that were under sheets. They calling me Max Payne. And now was the now time to kill V.

I jumped out my window breaking glasses into tiny snowflakes sharp as a bitch. I fell 27 floors but it didn't bother me. I had to stop V. When pavement arrived I got in car and drived off.

Their was one place in town where V probably lived. The old warehouse waterfront. I knew this because I was a good detection. I lighting my cigarrette. I needed to cool for the fight and everyone knows this is best way.

Using time made of bullets I broke down door and flew inside like hummingbird with caffine. I shoot everyone till they fall down like a hotel of cards.

The cop force arrives to give body bags to the druggies. Then a problem showed up lie corn syrup inside a shoot of vodka. This was the wrong secret drug hideout. They were making lolipops instead of V.

The police cops taked away my badge because of that. Like a kid who brought bubblegum to class but had the teacher take it away because he didn't not brought enough for everybody. I tried to drowned my anger in a pine of bear. After drinking bear I made flashback in my pants to the day my partner became the dead.

A war made of gangs was erupting the city like a volcano whose hot steamy lava was organized crime. The two biggerest crimes families on the city made of buildings were the Torries and the Upsidedown Cakes. They made hate with each other and used bullets to talk about their feelings. It was purred choas as blood of innocents ran down the street like a marathon.

Me and my partner and me arrived at a back alley that had been turend sideways warzone. Torries sitted at one end wand the Upsidedown Cakes owned the other. Bullets used flying to go from one end of the alley into the other never stopping to get their passports stamped.

”We have too doo something in the now!“ My partner screamed. Lucky I knowing exactly what to do. I had been watched spy movies all day and had planning. Just like spy's in movies I broke open tooth and pulled out lawnmower. Using Lwanmover I kung Fu attacked all of the gang members of both gangs like a hotel of paper.

“You made save of everybody” Partner shouted. He ran over to me butt he became getter of papper cut. “Know, I am become paper cutted!”

I sat down as his partner laid dyeing. “Partner, no! You can't die! You retirement only two days until!” But it was noo good and partner died the death of a dad man. I was saddenedded by the dyingness and a while became ripped out of my chestiness. My sorrow was so in tents that flashbacked till how I meeted my partnar..

I t was my first day of kindergarden and like ny kindergarterener I had lunchbox. That was until big bad Billy Bottomtopolis wedgied myself then wedgied my lunch and waked away with it like toothpaste that had too much too drink.

Teh teacher was too much the corrupt to help ,See was in 'botomopilis back pockete. Myslef could hav asked prinicple fro hallp, butt shee only carred about Jack Daniels. I were as alone as a caterpiller without a hatmaker.

Billy Bottomtopolis was strong and fat and smelly and good with knitting butt he wsa no macth for revolving gun made of Lego bricks. sixteeen Lego bullets insided Bily that aftermorning and I got my lungh back. It was like reuniting with an old lover that needs help getting gout of bathtub. It made the remind first case of.

The year was 1678 BCAD and I was greetest knight in Sir New York varily. Thare wsa yonder skin irritation whereby all pooples horse were made of gone. The king of Sir New York doth made decrying that any everyone who made tha capture of the horse missinger would be giveneth his oown weight in gold. I knowd that I would solve that case so I made more weight for me buy non longer eating helium.

Forsooth, the obvious thing was obvious to doo so I undercoverd as ye olde cow. The legs on that costume went all the way up. It weren't tall before a dragon sweepdeth me up and flown off yonder taking me into ye olde dragon's lair.

Verily the dragon threw me to the ground like a potato that was overcooked, butt before eating me was done I cut open the dragon with my yonder swerd and found that the dragon wassn't A dragon but a guy in a verily dragon costume pretending to dragon. “”You fool? You unmaksed me? Now my evil plan to sell donkeys is foiled?”

I had ran out of pitty like a car with an empty gas tank and there wasn't a gas station for miles. Usingest my old timey swordest I shooted him nutil I ran out ofbullets.

As I stooodeded over the body I remembered my firsst time I was made of kill someone. It was back during the big bang.

Bang!

And that's how universe made.


End file.
